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Vegetarian and vegan jokes - 46 funny sayings

Vegetarian and vegan jokes

Looking for funny vegetarian and vegan jokes? Then you are absolutely right here! Even if the cruelty to animals, the Deforestation of the rainforests for animal feed or the climate change as a result of the Factory farming are anything but funny, we "herbivores" can fortunately laugh at ourselves sometimes.

Here I would like to give you the funniest sayings about vegans and vegetarians. You'll also learn how to counter them in everyday conversations in a funny and quick-witted way. Have fun!

The best vegetarian and vegan jokes and funny sayings

Positive changes in a society always take place over several stages and can take decades. "First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.", shall Mahatma Gandhi once said.

Accordingly, it is therefore also not surprising that countless vegan jokes circulate, although veganism per se simply a Movement against the exploitation and torture of animals is. A basic idea that probably everyone would sign. With regard to the quote, we have at least already passed the point where the vegan movement is ignored 😉.

Then let's go straight to the jokes. Don't worry - if you're a meat eater, vegan or vegetarian, you'll get your money's worth. As promised, you'll now get a list of short, funny vegan jokes.

Vegan jokes #1 - 10

  1. Vegans are not buried. They are composted.
  2. Vegetarians eat away the food of the animals.
  3. Let's get started or the food will wilt.
  4. Vegans don't have children, they have offspring.
  5. What do you call a group of demonstrating vegans? Vegetable casserole.
  6. Vegans don't eat. They graze.
  7. What do you call a fat vegan? Organic garbage can!
  8. Vegans do not fart. They let a fern.
  9. How inveterate can vegetarians be?
  10. Do vegans hide painted potatoes for Easter?

Vegan jokes #11 - 20

  1. Vegan food is fully delicious! You only have to add minced meat and cream - and then bake the whole thing with cheese.
  2. What do you call a Russian vegan? Mooskauer.
  3. Vegans do not have sex. They reproduce.
  4. That moment when the kebab man cuts the meat and your mouth waters... is it the same for you vegans when you mow the lawn?
  5. Does the food taste good or is it vegan?
  6. What do you call a vegan with a preference for corn? Cob eater!
  7. Vegetarians and vegans are cruel! I mean: a pig can run away, but what about a salad like this?
  8. Fill your water guns with sausage water - we're going vegan hunting!
  9. What is the name of the god of vegetarians and vegans? Herbal Buddha.
  10. "Why are you crying? Did someone die?" - "Because of the onions!" - "Now you vegans are completely exaggerating!"

Vegan jokes #21 - 30

  1. When there is no more meat, I eat vegan.
  2. There are no fat vegans. There are only vegetable fats.
  3. "I'm vegan, what can I order at their restaurant?" - "A cab."
  4. Dear vegans: stop eating mushrooms, smurfs live in them!
  5. Vegan is an old Indian word for "bad hunter".
  6. What do you call militant vegans? Saladists.
  7. How do you actually recognize a vegan? He will tell you.
  8. Why are vegetarians and vegans not so thrifty? Because then they would have to slaughter the piggy bank at some point.
  9. Why do vegans run barefoot? So that they don't get cheese feet.
  10. Do you still enjoy your food or are you already vegan?

Tip: Most vegans did not become vegan because they did not like meat, eggs or cow's milk. Rather, ethical, ecological and also health reasons were decisive. Why I live veganI explain this in the linked article.

Vegan jokes #31 - 40

  1. When you're sad, remember: vegans can't top anything with cheese.
  2. I am a second hand vegetarian! Cow eats grass, I eat cow.
  3. Are vegetarians allowed to have butterflies in their stomachs?
  4. What's green and just around the corner? A knock salad.
  5. Dear vegans: there is a reason that it is called "dahinvegetieren" and not "dahinschnitzeln".
  6. Outside are the first leaves - who of you vegans has not eaten up?
  7. No blood oranges please, I'm a vegetarian.
  8. Every now and then I make jokes about vegans. But not about tofu - that's in bad taste!
  9. "Do you have any vegan food in your fridge?" - "Yes, light."
  10. What do you call a vegan with diarrhea? Smoothie Maker.

Vegan jokes #41 - 46

  1. Vegans don't party, vegans let their hair down.
  2. Why can't vegans drink tap water? Because it comes from the tap.
  3. What meat can vegans eat? Fruit flesh!
  4. What do you call a vegan acrobat? Grasshopper.
  5. I have nothing against vegetarians. Most of them taste really excellent.

Can you think of other sayings and jokes about vegans? Then just write me a comment. At Sayings for veganism I have compiled a collection of inspirational quotes from real personalities. Also under Animal Welfare Quotes you will find more inspiration.

Funny vegan jokes counter

Funny jokes about vegans

If we vegans can cope with such sayings, meat eaters must also be able to live with it. Use the opportunity to set a suitable counter and at the same time to stimulate thought.

Maybe you can do it with the following quick-witted sayings, for example, Convince meat eaters of veganism:

  • "Your body is a graveyard for body parts of other living beings." (towards a fanatical meat fan)
  • "You are XX years old and still drinking breast milk." (e.g. cow's milk)
  • "Why are you eating something that comes out of a chicken's A****hole?" (related to the consumption of chicken eggs).
  • "No, I'm doing this out of hatred for plants! Out of pure plant hatred!" (in response to a sentence like "So you're vegan - out of love for animals, or why?")
  • "Vegan means you don't just think animal suffering sucks between meals." (in case someone calls you a vegan hypocrite, because you also trample an ant)

I hope that in this article I was able to give you some funny vegan jokes as well as some useful sayings to counter them with. Can you think of any other vegan jokes or would you like to share your everyday experiences with them? Then just write me a comment.

Keep it humorous,

Christoph from CareElite - Plastic-free living

PS: Maybe you too are thinking that veganism is not such a bad idea. Then be sure to check out this vegan documentaries an, they have also opened my eyes.

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* Links with asterisks are so-called affiliate links. If you click on it and buy something, you automatically and actively support my work with CareElite.de, because I get a small share of the sales revenue - and of course the product price does not change. Thank you for your support and best regards, Christoph!

Christoph Schulz

Christoph Schulz

I'm Christoph, an environmental scientist and author - and here at CareElite I'm campaigning against plastic waste in the environment, climate change and all the other major environmental problems of our time. Together with other environmentally conscious bloggers, I want to give you tips & tricks for a naturally healthy, sustainable life as well as your personal development.

1 thought on “Vegetarier und Veganer Witze – 46 lustige Sprüche”

  1. Hi Christoph, you have created a really versatile, informative and also frightening site here, which is inspiring and at the same time enlightening and humorous. I will be happy to visit again. Many love greetings Manuela F.

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