Vegetarian and vegan jokes - 46 funny sayings

Looking for funny vegetarian and vegan jokes? Then you are absolutely right here! Even if the Cruelty to animals, the Deforestation of the rainforests for animal feed or the climate change as a result of the Factory farming are anything but funny, we "herbivores" can fortunately laugh at ourselves sometimes.

Here I would like to give you the funniest sayings about vegans and vegetarians. You'll also find out how you can counter them in everyday conversations in a funny and quick-witted way. Have fun!

The best vegetarian and vegan jokes and funny sayings

Positive changes in a society always take place over several stages and can last for decades. "First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win."shallMahatma Gandhi once said.

It is therefore not surprising that countless vegan jokes are circulating, even though veganism per se is simply a Movement against the exploitation and cruelty of animals is. A basic idea that everyone would probably subscribe to. With regard to the quote, at least we've already passed the point where the vegan movement is ignored 😉

Then let's get straight to the jokes. Don't worry - whether you're a meat eater, vegan or vegetarian, you'll get your money's worth here. As promised, you now have a list of short, funny vegan jokes at your fingertips.

Vegan jokes #1 - 10

1. Vegans are not buried. They are composted.
2. Vegetarians eat away the food of the animals.
3. Let's get started or the food will wilt.
4. Vegans don't have children, they have offspring.
5. What do you call a group of demonstrating vegans? Vegetable casserole.
6. Vegans don't eat. They graze.
7. What do you call a fat vegan? Organic garbage can!
8. Vegans do not fart. They let a fern.
9. How inveterate can vegetarians be?
10. Do vegans hide painted potatoes for Easter?

Vegan jokes #11 - 20

11. Vegan food is delicious! All you have to do is add minced meat and cream - and then gratinate the whole thing with cheese.
12. What do you call a Russian vegan? Mooskauer.
13. Vegans do not have sex. They reproduce.
14. That moment when the kebab man cuts the meat and your mouth starts to water... is it the same for you vegans when you mow the lawn?
15. Does the food taste good or is it vegan?
16. What do you call a vegan with a preference for corn? A cob eater!
17. Vegetarians and vegans are cruel! I mean: a pig can run away, but what about a salad like this?
18. Fill your water pistols with sausage water - we're going vegan hunting!
19. What is the name of the god of vegetarians and vegans? Herbal Buddha.
20. "Why are you crying? Did someone die?" - "Because of the onions!" - "Now you vegans are completely exaggerating!"

Vegan jokes #21 - 30

21. When there is no more meat, I eat vegan.
22. There are no fat vegans. There are only vegetable fats.
23. "I'm vegan, what can I order in your restaurant?" - "A cab."
24. Dear vegans: stop eating mushrooms, Smurfs live in them!
25. Vegan is an old Indian word for "bad hunter".
26. What do you call militant vegans? Saladists.
27. How do you recognize a vegan? He will tell you.
28. Why aren't vegetarians and vegans so frugal? Because then they would have to slaughter the piggy bank at some point.
29. Why do vegans walk barefoot? So they don't get cheesy feet.
30. Do you still enjoy your food or are you already vegan?

Tip: Most vegans did not become vegan because they did not like meat, eggs or cow's milk. Rather, ethical, ecological and health reasons were the deciding factors. Why I live veganI explain in the linked article.

Vegan jokes #31 - 40

31. If you're sad, remember: vegans can't top anything with cheese.
32. I am a second hand vegetarian! Cow eats grass, I eat cow.
33. Can vegetarians have butterflies in their stomach?
34. What's green and just around the corner? A lettuce salad.
35. Dear vegans: there is a reason why it is called vegetating and not shredding.
36. The first leaves are outside - how many of you vegans haven't eaten them?
37. No blood oranges please, I'm a vegetarian.
38. Every now and then I make jokes about vegans. But not about tofu - that's tasteless!
39. "Do you have any vegan food in your fridge?" - "Yes, light."
40. What do you call a vegan with diarrhea? Smoothie Maker.

Vegan jokes #41 - 46

41. Vegans don't party, vegans let their hair down.
42. Why can't vegans drink tap water? Because it comes out of the tap.
43. What meat can vegans eat? Fruit pulp!
44. What do you call a vegan acrobat? Grasshopper.
45. I have nothing against vegetarians. Most of them taste really excellent.

Can you think of any other sayings and jokes about vegans? Then just write me a comment. At Sayings for veganism I have put together a collection of inspirational quotes from real personalities. Also under Animal Welfare Quotes you will find more inspiration.

Funny vegan jokes counter

If we vegans can cope with such slogans, meat eaters must also be able to live with them. Take the opportunity to come up with a suitable counter and at the same time make people think.

Maybe you can do it with the following quick-witted sayings, for example, Convincing meat eaters of veganism:

• "Your body is a graveyard for the body parts of other living beings." (to a fanatical meat fan)
• "You are XX years old and still drinking breast milk." (e.g. cow's milk)
• "Why are you eating something that comes out of a chicken's A****hole?" (related to the consumption of hen's eggs)
• "No, I'm doing this out of hatred for plants! Out of pure plant hatred!" (in response to a sentence like "So you're vegan - out of love for animals, or why?")
• "Vegan means that you don't just think animal suffering sucks between meals." (in case someone calls you a vegan hypocrite, because you also trample an ant)

I hope that in this article I have been able to give you some funny vegan jokes as well as some useful sayings to counter them. Can you think of any other vegan jokes or would you like to share your everyday experiences? Then just write me a comment.

Stay humorous,

PS: Maybe you're thinking that veganism isn't such a bad idea. Then take a look at this vegan documentaries They have opened my eyes too.